Short answer: To go to Confession, examine your conscience, go to a priest during your parish’s confession times, make the Sign of the Cross, tell him how long it has been since your last confession, confess your sins honestly, listen to his advice and accept your penance, pray an Act of Contrition, receive absolution, and then complete your penance.
If it has been a long time, you are not alone, and you are welcome. The Sacrament of Penance (also called Reconciliation or Confession) is where Christ Himself forgives sins through the ministry of the priest. As the Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches, it is the sacrament through which those who have fallen into sin after Baptism are reconciled with God and with the Church (CCC 1422, 1446).
Why Catholics confess to a priest
On the evening of His Resurrection, Jesus breathed on the Apostles and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained” (John 20:22–23). The Church has always understood this as Christ giving His Apostles, and their successors the bishops and priests, the power to forgive sins in His name (CCC 1441–1445, 1461).
The priest is not a judge looking to condemn you. He acts in persona Christi, in the person of Christ, the Good Shepherd who goes looking for the lost sheep (CCC 1465).
Before you go: examine your conscience
An examination of conscience is a prayerful look at your life since your last good confession. Many Catholics use the Ten Commandments as a guide. Ask the Holy Spirit for light, then ask yourself honest questions, for example:
- Have I put anything ahead of God? Have I missed Mass on Sundays or holy days of obligation without a serious reason?
- Have I used God’s name in vain?
- Have I honored my parents and cared for my family?
- Have I harmed anyone through anger, hatred, gossip or lies?
- Have I been pure in thought, word and action?
- Have I stolen or been dishonest?
The Church teaches that a sin is mortal when it involves grave matter and is committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent (CCC 1857). All mortal sins you remember after a careful examination must be confessed, by kind and, as best you can, by number (CCC 1456). Confessing everyday (venial) faults is not strictly required but is strongly recommended, because it helps us grow in holiness (CCC 1458).
Step-by-step: what happens in Confession
- Choose face-to-face or behind the screen. Most parishes offer both. Either is fine.
- Make the Sign of the Cross. The priest may begin with a short blessing or a Scripture verse.
- Begin: “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been [how long] since my last confession.” If you don’t remember, an honest estimate is fine. If you’re nervous, simply say so; the priest will help you.
- Confess your sins. Speak simply and honestly. You don’t need long stories, just what you did and, for serious sins, about how often. End with something like, “For these and all the sins of my past life, I am sorry.”
- Listen to the priest’s counsel and accept your penance, usually prayers or an act of charity.
- Pray an Act of Contrition (see below). If you can’t remember one, tell the priest; he can lead you or let you say it in your own words.
- Receive absolution. The priest prays the words of absolution, which conclude: “I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” Answer, “Amen.”
- Go in peace. The priest may say, “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good,” and you can answer, “His mercy endures forever.” Then complete your penance as soon as you can.
The Act of Contrition (traditional form)
O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins because I dread the loss of Heaven and the pains of Hell; but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, Who art all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.
Other approved versions exist, and any sincere prayer of sorrow with a resolution to avoid sin is acceptable.
How often should Catholics go to Confession?
The Church requires the faithful to confess serious sins at least once a year (CCC 1457; Code of Canon Law, can. 989). Anyone aware of having committed a mortal sin should not receive Holy Communion without first going to Confession, except in the rare case of a grave reason when no confessor is available (CCC 1457). Many saints and spiritual directors recommend going monthly. Seasons like Advent and Lent are wonderful times to return, and many parishes add extra confession times or penance services then.
Frequently asked questions
Will the priest tell anyone what I confessed?
No. The seal of confession is absolute. A priest may never reveal what he hears in Confession, under very severe penalties (CCC 1467; can. 983).
What if I forget a sin?
If you honestly forget a sin, it is forgiven along with the others. If you later remember a mortal sin, mention it in your next confession.
I haven’t been in 20 years. Can I still go?
Yes. Just tell the priest it’s been a long time and ask for his help. He will walk you through it. Some people schedule an appointment with a priest for extra time.
Do I have to do my penance right away?
Do it as soon as reasonably possible. The penance is part of the sacrament and helps repair the harm sin causes (CCC 1459–1460).
Can non-Catholics go to Confession?
The sacrament is for baptized Catholics. Non-Catholics are welcome to speak with a priest for prayer and guidance, and those interested in becoming Catholic can ask their parish about OCIA (formerly RCIA).
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